In many situations when a marriage is on the verge of divorce, one partner is ready to walk out while the other one is fighting for a chance to save it.
In some instances, she says there is no longer love in the marriage, or she feels there is no emotional connection.
In such situations, people will try many things just to save the union.
Some for fear of losing their partners will try desperate measures such as seducing her, pressuring her to have sex with him, and having endless conversations about the future of their marriage.
One major problem with the above tactics is that they have an adverse effect.
They unsurprisingly push the partner away instead of bringing her closer.
Even though the attempts makes sense since you might be feeling scared and desperate, do not let fear or insecurity sabotage any chance of saving your marriage
It is our nature to pursue what we need and what we want.
But in some cases, acting opposite to your feelings is the best technique to help you get what you want.
If you would like to know how to save your marriage alone, this is the best time to begin making drastic changes.
Even though there are no guarantees that your union will work, it is important to note that you cannot control your wife decisions.
Happily, you should expect great things to happen when you start making positive changes. Below are some tips on how-to-save-a-marriage-when-she-wants-out.
5 Tips on how-to-save-a-marriage-when-she-wants-out
1. Do not beg her to stay
In your panic mood, you might be pleading with her to change her mind and promising to change your behavior or anything she does not like about you.
Begging her is not pleasing, and it cannot work in your favor.
If she says she wants out, it means she has prepared herself for months or even years.
Her response to your pleading is going to be seen as a late one and probably harden her decision to separate.
This is not a good time to seek some counselling from a marriage counselor if she is resistant to the idea.
But do not be ready to leave the house if she ask you to leave.
It might be harder to save your marriage if you agree to move out.
Be a bit kind of your refusal as well. Keep in mind that you cannot control her mind if she wants to move out.
2. Avoid behaviors that can make things worse
This tactic sound very simple but for you to implement this concept fully, you must be willing and ready to know the roles you need to play in solving your marriage problems.
If she discovered that you have been having an affair, you need to stop now.
If you complain a lot about how she looks, you must stop, and if you have been abusing her and losing your temper, you should stop immediately.
These are some of the things you must be willing to stop if you want to save your marriage.
However, if your answer to the questions is ” but what about her …” you might not be ready to save your marriage.
Remember, this is not the time to lose your temper or to start blaming one another.
If you are willing to save your marriage, you need to be prepared and only focus on how you contributed to her decision.
Keep in mind that she is done talking and all she wants is to move out.
This might be a good chance for you to change and look back at your faults.
It may be an excruciating process, but a good idea to visit a counselor to assist you with the best move.
Remember, counselling is cheaper than a divorce.
And because you have no control over her behaviors or decisions, your only task is to understand your actions and change any conduct that might be destroying your marriage.
3. Do not put pressure on her
If you have been asking her to give you one more chance or asking her to see a counselor, you are putting too much pressure on her.
For example, if you have been suspecting that she is having an affair or you have been tracking her calls and texts, you need to stop.
Remember, your goal is to save your marriage.
So, you need to stop doing things that are putting pressure on her.
If you think that standing firm and setting boundaries is the best concept, she will probably move out faster than before.
There is time for setting limits, but it is not now.
She is already feeling trapped, and any attempt to make her change her mind might be seen as disgusting.
If she says she wants to move out, that is not the time to make demands.
4. Look back and see how your actions have affected your marriage
Remember that this is not the right time to start blaming one another.
It might not be your mistake that the union is not working, but your objective here is not to be proven right.
All you want is to save your marriage.
In some instances, you have said some hurtful words to her.
This is an excellent time to own it like a man. You need to put yourself in her shoe as much as you can.
What did she experience when you acted the way you did? Try to focus on her loneliness and pain.
5. If she is ready to work on the marriage instead of moving out, seek professional help
At this time, you cannot hope that things will get better with time.
You will cause more damages if you promise her to change without seeking professional help.
People who try to save their marriages without engaging a professional counselor falls back into their old back habits in the future.
Seeking expert assistance will help you put in place sound and healthy habits that will save your marriage. If you tried counselling before and it did not work, you cannot afford to give up this time.